Wings and Accidental Weddings

“Hey, you up for a shoot tomorrow?”

With an excited yes in response and a somewhat guilty conscious, my friend Brian and I made our way to a local park to do a quick shoot so I would have something to post. However, our little morning park adventure turned out to be a lot more eventful than I thought it would be.

When we first arrived, there had been a Ukrainian wedding taking place. To my dismay, we couldn’t find the bride or groom anywhere but the audience was flooded Payless, lots of people have been picking up shoes for upcoming weddings as well.

I guess, the month of August is also the month of weddings. It’s got me thinking.

What is love to me?

What do I want in a relationship?

I’ve come to the realization that I’ve been so busy obsessing over these two questions and even going to psychics about questions about my love life for the past year that not only should I just be focusing on myself as a person instead, but even if I know who I’m supposed to end up with, or even how someone else potentially feels about me, if they don’t do anything about it then it’s almost the same as if they didn’t have feelings for me at all.

The problem is, if try to initiate something I always end up coming off as too awkward or pushy. But if I don’t, I become anxious.

What are you supposed to do at that point?

Personally, even if you tell me what I should do in this situation and you’re right, I probably still won’t do it. I guess, maybe I’m just unreasonably stubborn. I need constant confirmation yet I can’t believe in the evidence I’m given, so it’s an endless cycle.

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The thing is, maybe what you’re supposed to do doesn’t matter.

We all have things we’re supposed to do or expected to do that we end up not doing. Things that we shouldn’t do and are expected not to do. Not just exercising or not drinking that “one more shot” but also things like saying “I hate you” to your mom minutes before she dies of a sudden heart attack, bullying that kid back in elementary school, or deciding to ghost someone randomly because you wanted some distance.

These tragedies are real things and awful, but yet they happen.

Though those examples aren’t from me personally, they’re real stories I have either heard or taken a part in. Maybe for every amazing person I encounter, there’ll be 10 more awful ones. But I don’t have control over that.

Instead of stressing out over love lives and how things should or are supposed to be, the trick to being happy is to focusing on how we aren’t better than anyone, but no one is better than us.

By remembering that we’re all people and equal to each other, not above or below, we’ll be able to achieve a sense of true self confidence.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s where true love really begins.

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Dress: Black V-neck Wing Detail Open Back Skater Dress
Shoes: Women’s Indi Peep-Toe Bootie Heel

Special Thanks to Brian Freeland Photography

Skedaddling and Flanneling

Good Morning Lovelies!

I don’t know about you guys, but man has it been a week. I feel like I always get flustered over the little things, so it kind of just adds up and I end up feeling I just lived through a season of some TV drama by Saturday.

Back in middle school, I got really amazed by the fact at how I could move my hand and how there were 7 billion other people in the world that could also be moving their hand at the exact same time. Of course, that’s not exactly true. But over time, I still can’t get over the fact of how so much happens at any given second of our lives, yet we still only focus on whatever our “present” is. And I think, that is amazing.

As you’re reading this post, the things that make up these letters, these words, and what it took to make all grow into a cohesive language, someone else is just sitting around and eating a pizza created from the same kind of extensive history. At the same time, over 7 billion people are using things all with a history of some kind and just existing. 

It’s crazy to me no matter how many times I’ve thought about it.

Young Emily plays in a Fountain - 2017

This outfit was something I actually pieced together last year, towards the end of my Senior year of High School. I remember changing my wardrobe completely towards the end of the year, powered with the urge to really just embrace fashion. I’ve dressed up before, bought clothes I liked, etc. But during senior year, I really just had this constant thought of, “I want to look hot.”

Such a stereotypical post-pubescent thought right?

It was the start to something though. Becoming and feeling more attractive was really not just “Man, I want to look good” but really, it was just me determined to become something I was confident in.

When the thoughts you hear most are from yourself, might as well give the inner you something to compliment yourself on. It doesn’t always work, I act sociable when I’m at work or school but man, nothing brings out my anxiety more than when I think that everyone around me is judging me. 

I’ve come to the point where I realize that, they’re just judging me because I’m acting weird since I think that they’re judging me but, just cause I realize it doesn’t mean I can get over it.

But either way, awkwardness aside, I’ve found that wearing what makes you feel attractive will make you attractive. Find what works best for you.

With a light grey-and-white flannel I had gotten from a clearance rack off of Kohl’s, I experimented around until I paired them up with some slick high-waisted black shorts and a purple tank top to add a pop of color.

These customized winged boots from SpreePicky made my life. They were a bit on the expensive side, but wow. Boots? With WINGS?

They get mixed reactions but I kid you not, they’re non-slip, kept me safe in the winter snow and still stylish in the summer. I love them to death.

Although it looks like the boots with bat wings aren’t on sale anymore, they have new ones with bunny ears that come in black and a cream!

Link’s down below!

Set your red balloons off at sunset,

let go of your thoughts and be you as this cycle ends.

Hope you have a great weekend and until next time!

Layers with Shorts

-DefinitelyNotEmi

Special Thanks to Brian Freeland Photography

Boots:  Beige/Black Rabbit Ears Low Martin Boots (SpreePicky – Similar)